Confession time

Confession time

I’ve been shopping. Online. A lot. Like, very a lot. I started keeping track of my purchases in my bullet journal (moreso so I could keep track of what had been delivered or not) and I have filled a whole page in the last four weeks. A bullet journal page has 31 lines. I added it all up. I don’t want to open my eyes and see the figure again.

$3,433.06. This is how much my online purchases from the last 4 weeks have added up to. The last ones were last night/early hours this morning.

$3,433.06!

That is such a lot of money. Especially when I am currently earning sweet FA. I have mostly been buying clothes. And mostly using AfterPay (pay the total off over 4 x fortnightly instalments). I did need some new clothes for winter – I put on 10 kg in the last 12 months so my old clothes were not fitting. That was a legit excuse right? When I look at $3,433.06 I don’t think it was a good enough excuse. Maybe for a couple of winter staples but not for the amount I have bought.

A couple of nights ago, I bought some essential oils and a diffuser. My supplements have been working really well and I feel that some essential oils will add to that. Then I couldn’t decide which diffuser and there were two great packs of oils from two different suppliers. So I bought a pack and a diffuser from each. Yes, I will definitely use them both, but one would have done fine.

Admittedly May is a busy month for birthdays in my household – my partner, his Mum, my Mum, and Mothers Day. So there were quite a few presents in my spending total. But not 3k worth.

I have done this before. Spending because I feel compelled to and ended up in huge credit card debt. I was fortunate to be able to pay it off with an inheritance I received and I have not had a credit card since. Very glad that I have stuck to that decision.

They say that it is in the manic phase where people with bipolar will start spending uncontrollably. This confuses me. I’ve had challenges getting to sleep lately where I thought mania may be starting to rear its head. But I think it’s actually because I’ve been shopping online so the whole blue light think has been the cause. I’ve been waking up pretty groggy after going to sleep late. If it was mania, I wouldn’t be waking up groggy.

In any case, this spending must stop. I had about a thousand dollars in my head, that I had spent (and was wincing at that). Not three thousand!

OK. So when I have previously been here before, I have had no choice but to stop spending as I simply ran out of money and hit borrowing limits. I am not going to let that happen this time. I’m a big girl now. I need a new tool kit, so here goes…

  1. I have put a post-it note on my bathroom mirror, with nothing but ‘$3,433.06!’ to remind me morning and night of my spending woopsie.
  2. Write down all the things that I could have otherwise done with $3,433.06.
  3. I have started a Wish List in my bullet journal. Each time I complete a monthly goal then I can buy something from my wish list.
  4. Phone a friend. Well, actually just ask my partner. He is very level headed and a good saver. If I had shown him every item I had purchased beforehand, he would have said no and given me a sound reason not to, for 99% of my purchases.
  5. The 3-day rule – if I feel I really ‘need’ something, I will wait 3 days to contemplate it and use another of these tools, before making a purchase (with the intent being of course not to make a purchase).
  6. I will unsubscribe to all the promotions emails that I currently receive (which is where the majority of my purchases have originated).
  7. I will find a budgeting app and make a savings goal. I will track my money (in and out) to try and stay focussed on savings rather than spending.

Okey dokey. I have work to do. Wish me luck.

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